Early this week I had a rocky day that lead to a rocky night. So I called a friend. I had some idea as to why I was out of sorts. But how in the world was I going to explain it. Would anyone understand? Believe me? Sympathize? Help?
As I started shedding she sweetly interrupted part of the way through my tears and snot, and said “It’s not easy being an empath.” I wasn’t 100% sure what she meant but I rolled with it. I mean I’m a smart lady. So I know what empathy means. So I can clearly figure what an empath is as well…
You see, I was struggling with the many emotions that came with my awareness of several situations of people close to me; none of which were positive. This information did not come by way of them telling me, but my intuition and sensing of energy in the atmosphere. I was hurting for them and self. My mind was swirling and my emotions were everywhere. I simply could not take it anymore.
I felt better after talking with my girl. But I still was unsettled. Shoot! I’ve been unsettled since then, taking each day and moment as they came. I have truly only been able to take in so much at a time. So I looked further into what an empath really is.
I quickly came across an article at “The Mind Unleashed”, and OH MY GOSH BECKY it’s even overwhelming to read let alone be one. The article said all that I needed to read to affirm that I am an empath. As I delved into the list of empath characteristics I felt like someone was reading an overview of my mind and spirit.
I knew most of this about me: knowing things without being told, sensing others’ emotions, taking on others’ physical ailments (I was stuck in the bathroom at work at the age of 15 with terrible abdominal pain when my best friend went into labor. I had no idea she was in labor either.), inability to watch violence, compassion for the “least of these”, becoming a dumping ground for others, don’t surprise easily, creative, loves nature at animals. hates clutter, and strives for truth (relentlessly in my case… I cannot help it.). But for some reason reading it affirmed me. It assured me that it’s not abnormal and I’m not unusual. It gave me a sense of relief and stability amidst the rapid flow of energy that fills my being.
I consider myself pretty aware of self. But this final statement helped me understand me even that much more:
(An empath) “Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how an empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like scuttling under a stone.”
Now this makes even more sense. There are many times my life is wonderful, but I still feel out of sorts. My empath nature is why.
Now what? I’m not really sure. But the full awareness of this aspect of myself has given me some grounding near the end of a very different week. I see where I need to adjust how I expend my energy and receive that of others. It’s the only way I can take care of self, so I can take care of/hold space for others. Because with the sensing and knowing I quickly move to holding and helping (prayers, energy, devotions, readings, etc.).
In order for me to be the best me as an empath I have to make sure I am well in mind, body, and spirit first. So I shall.