I, like everyone, had some joys and struggles in 2014. I am not big on resolutions because I am constantly working on me. A turn of a year is not my indicator for improvement. However, as I reviewed 2014 I noticed an unsettling trend: too many people have poor perceptions of me. Now don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that perceptions are not reality. Likewise, I do not go around altering the core of who I am just because of what “people” say. But I do believe that in all things perception does matter. With that being said I am determined to change those “people’s” perception of me in 2015.
As I have thought on this issue I’ve tried deciding how in the world I will do that. How can you change what people think? When folks have their minds made up you usually can’t change them. Really…how am I going to do this without changing me? My core? My essence?
Today I finally figured out what I am going to do!
- Think positive things about negative people.
- Be the person I desire in others.
I’m sure it sounds a bit “tongue in cheek”. But I am excited! And I think it’s the best plan to stay me, improve “people’s” perception of me, and enjoy my life far more. But what in the heck does this mean Guru Libby? What does it look like? I’m so glad you asked.
Think positive things about (negative) people. I am a huge culprit of thinking nasty, negative things about people I do not care for.
“Awe dag here comes that clown…Ughh, gotta go and listen to her nonsense…I hope he doesn’t write how he speaks…Is she still asking the same dumb question…” I’ve caught myself making these statements far too much when I am about to encounter people I do not like for one reason or another. I’ve started to feel really bad about it though. It finally hit me. This is probably what people do when they see me, and is what keeps the negative perception rolling.
I have to stop!!!
Instead I have chosen to ask for forgiveness when those thoughts roll out, and come up with a more positive statement/mantra in return. This can be really difficult when you are not fond of someone. But I’m starting small. After time I am hoping to build to improvements in interactions with these people. Here are some ideas:
- There’s _______. Smile and say hello Olivia; even if they won’t.
- Recall a pleasant thing they have done.
- Try imagining them as their family/friends do. (Not everyone hates them. IJS)
- Keep interactions short to start.
- Find something simple to compliment.
- Share information they may be interested in.
- Ask how a family member or friend you know is doing.
- If this were you what would you want people to think, say, or do?
This is all fairly simple. It won’t be comfortable at first. TRUST ME! But after a while it will become second nature, and what will “people” have to say about you/me? She/He always smiles at me. She/He never has anything negative to say. She/He is always giving me good insights. Then what happens? Their perception begins to change!
Just what we wanted!!!
The cool thing about this plan, is that even though it calls for adjusting 2 ways of thinking/behaving; they’re both rolled in together. Take a moment to think on it. We don’t want others thinking nasty, negative things about us (ever), so don’t do it. If you want people to smile and speak…smile and speak. If you want people to assist you when you’re unsure…help others. If you don’t want people spreading rumors… don’t do it. If you like being around cheerful, courteous people…be cheerful and courteous.
You get the point. It’s not hard. There goes your “Be the person I desire in others.” I’m a firm believer in treating others as they want to be treated not how we wanted to be treated. That’s the platinum rule. But if your way is more appealing and leans farther on the side of supreme customer service go with that (i.e. Speak to people even if they don’t like to be spoken to or don’t respond. It’s just polite. Old fashioned, I know, but polite.).
I know I’m ready. I think my plan will work. If not, I’ll just retune and move forward. I am determined for “people” to know me better. No, not everyone will be willing to transform. But they certainly won’t be able to say anything negative about me, because I’m going to think positive and be who I desire!